14 Things Only Alcohol-Free Drinkers Know
You’ve probably noticed people drinking alcohol-free drinks at social gatherings.
Oh sure, they might be having fun, but there is probably a reason behind their abstinence — namely, they don’t want to drink alcohol.
Or, perhaps someone bought them an alcohol-free drink instead of the full-strength kind.
Or maybe they aren’t allowed to have alcohol.
Regardless of your situation, this list will be helpful to at least one person.
Yes, there are 14 things only alcohol-free drinkers know.
It is their survival guide, and it isn’t what you think!
14. You Choose your drinks carefully
Alcohol-free beverages come in many different varieties.
You can get non-alcoholic beer, wine, and spirits, as well as cocktails made with non-alcoholic mixers or soda water.
If you have to attend a party, those naughty alcoholic beverages will be served; choose a drink that contains no alcohol at all.
People will offer you whatever they think is alcohol-free. But then, they make it up like diet drinks with a drop of whiskey and low alcohol.
You know you are searching for an abv 0.0 drink (alcohol by volume).
13. You have mastered the art of saying no:
Saying “no thanks” is much easier when you’re not worried about disappointing someone or causing a scene by asking for a substitute.
If your host or bartender offers to make you a special drink without alcohol, ask for a specific alcohol-free drink and ask to see the bottle.
Alcohol-free drinkers know this.
We have to be bold.
Ask for an alcohol-free drink, and people will think you are weird.
Like from another planet.
12-You have to be creative at parties.
You are invited to a party where everyone is drinking. You go out of your way to see if there will be non-alcoholic beverages available.
You know that BYO is the best option. After all, from beer to wine, alcohol-free is available.
But, unfortunately, the chances are they won’t have a clue about the alcohol-free options and won’t have read the article in cosmo saying it is trendy.
11- You know you don’t drink in excess.
Drinkers and non-drinkers have probably the most significant difference in this.
If you’re not drinking at all, then you do not need to keep going back for more alcohol once you’ve already consumed an unhealthy amount of it.
And you go to the bathroom less, and people will comment on it.
Well, it’s because I have not had 10 pints, and you wait for an answer.
10- Alcohol-free drinkers don’t hang around with people who drink excessively.
People who drink excessively like to socialise with other people who drink excessively because it helps them justify their excessive behaviour.
But they will pick on you cause you are different. They would feel happy if you rolled around on the floor with a bottle of chardonnay.
When you decide that you never want to drink again, you should also choose never to hang around people who actively choose to continue drinking excessively.
At first, this decision might hurt your friends, but they will soon grow used to the idea and be off their face anyway.
9- We know what an “abstainer” is.
Alcohol-free drinkers are told what alcohol-free drinkers are called and that “it must be hard for you”.
However, if you are gay and don’t drink, we expect this to double in its intensity.
If you are different in any way, this will treble the feeling that you are just a bit odd.
8- One won’t do any harm
If you have liver disease or alcohol could kill you, teetotalers know everyone says just one is ok.
They would rather see you with a gun in your hand than a diet soda.
Thank goodness for Heineken Zero or Seedlip Spirit. It takes the pressure off.
7- We have a plan for social situations that involve alcohol.
As a non-drinker, it can be tough to participate in all the fun going out with friends.
A plan helps whether you are going to a bar or an all-you-can drink-and-eat party.
For some people, this means accurate planning, so they don’t find themselves alone in the corner while everyone else is having fun.
You will also be asked how you can dance while sober the later the evening gets.
It will be an intense stare with the words “show me.”
6- Telling others that you don’t drink is the easy part.
When everyone else is drinking, it’s hard to feel comfortable.
After exploring all options, alcohol-free drinkers have worked this out and have a pre-planned exit strategy.
The start of the night is the easiest.
5- Alcohol-free drinkers pick their battles.
It’s not worth arguing over whether you should have to pay a cover charge because you don’t drink.
However, if you decide to get into an argument, make sure it’s worth it.
For example, if you’re at a party where they’re serving alcohol and no food, bring your snacks, so you’re not stuck sober when everyone else is hammered.
4- Alcohol-free drinkers hope you won’t be the person who always brings up sobriety.
It will start with “can I ask you a question?”
Unless it’s relevant to the conversation — and even then, they hope you keep it short and sweet!
Alcohol-free drinkers know that people will want to talk about it all night to cover up that they drink too much.
3- We can fake it on a camping trip or at a wedding reception (though it’s not easy).
After everyone is drunk, no one will clock that you have been drinking Gordon’s 0.0 Gin all night.
This alcohol-free alternative has more than one use, and that is disguise.
Because sometimes you just can’t be arsed to justify it.
Alcohol-free sparkling wine is also excellent. And tastes great.
2- We know that any joke about “one drink and you’re drunk” isn’t funny.
It’s common knowledge that alcohol affects our bodies differently, but did you know that some people tend to get drunk much more quickly than others?
It’s because everyone has a different alcohol tolerance level — how much they can drink before their body starts to feel the effects of alcohol.
So it’s partly genetic, and it’s also got something to do with the kind of booze you’re drinking.
Alcohol-free drinkers do their research, you dimwit.
1- Wine, yep, you will try it and then!
If we’re having dinner with friends and one orders wine, we can order alcohol-free wine, not sparkling water, in a wine glass!
That way, we aren’t left out of the conversation when they go on about how good their Cabernet was last weekend, this weekend and every weekend.
They will ask to taste it and then spit it out. Not because of how it tastes but because it has no alcohol.
Why they just can’t let you enjoy it is beyond me.
Not only do you not need to drink alcohol to have a good time, but there are plenty of reasons to go alcohol-free.
Whether it’s for health reasons, because you want to be more responsible with your drinking, or just because it makes you feel good — know that you’re not alone.
Crikey, it is hard work for all the wrong reasons.
So yes, you can still have a fun night out without booze.
But alcohol-free drinkers have their work cut out. And staying away from heavy drinkers may be the answer despite what people think.
I’m the author of Stop Drinking Alcohol Now by Philip Roberts on Amazon and Stop Drinking Alcohol on Audible.
I was a social wine drinker and given 48 hours to live.